For a natural introvert such as myself, enjoying my own company comes pretty easy. Although most people would never know this about me, I really am introverted – not shy at all – but introverted. Upon meeting me, you’d never suspect it because I’m friendly, warm and talkative. I will mingle and mix with the best of them. But after a few hours, some silent alarm inside of me goes off and solitude beckons me. That is the place where I go to recharge, meditate, pray, dream and revitalize myself and then I’m ready to go again. I’ll probably never be the last one to close down a party because that alarm will go off long before the last guests leave and I will have made my exit hours earlier. I’m convinced that this characteristic serves me well in my freelance writing profession. Freelancers spend a lot of time alone – it’s the nature of our business and it’s certainly not an ideal profession for more socially interactive people – the extroverts. Now, there’s a big difference in being alone, and actually enjoying your own company, and being lonely. I’m very seldom lonely and I’m never bored. I’m always able to stay creatively busy with my writing in one way or another. Or, I am working out at the gym **coughing** Ummm…well I’ve been slacking in that area for a little while, but I’m getting back in there soon! Whether I’m writing, reading or working out, music is the permanent thread that is always sewn into any activity that I do. Music is a muse for my writing and creativity. It motivates and inspires me.
Yes, you say, well that’s nice for you, Ava. But what about me who doesn’t like being alone and prefers company? Well I would say to you: Do the things that make you happy! I’m not suggesting that my lifestyle is for everyone. I simply live the life that makes me happy. The most important thing that I want you to take away from this article is this: In the event that you find yourself spending more time alone than you want, see that time as time well spent with someone wonderful, beautiful, worthy, talented and special….YOU! Don’t see that alone time as a reflection of anything that is wrong in your life – there’s nothing missing as long as you have yourself.
Yeah, yeah…I know. That may be easier said than done, right? Maybe so – hey, look, I’m a single woman, too, just like many of you reading this. As you well know from my other posts about dating, it’s obvious that I’m at least interested in finding the right man to compliment my life – notice I didn’t say ‘complete’. But so far, that hasn’t been the case. So, what does a mature, grown up woman do in the meantime? Learn to enjoy your own company, that’s what! Trust me, if you don’t, you’re going to be miserable and desperate – and that is never a good combination.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE LESS ACCUSTOMED TO BEING ALONE AND EMBRACING IT, HERE ARE JUST A FEW THINGS TO CONSIDER…
- When you’re alone, use that time to figure out what it is that you love to do – what your passion and your purpose is. If you’re blessed enough to already know, then you need to be pursuing and practicing it – honing your crafts!
- How do you figure out what your passion is? Ask yourself this question: What is the thing that you love so much that you would do it for FREE? That is how you’ll know what your passion is – create and strive to master it in the time that you spend alone.
- Work on personal self. You certainly won’t be spending every minute on your passion/purpose. And you do have more than one purpose. Another is to take good care of yourself! Everyone needs exercise, whether it’s to lose weight, maintain it, tone up that body or keep your heart and bones strong and healthy. Exercise produces endorphins – the feel-good hormones, and who doesn’t want to feel good? Check out the benefits in this article about endorphins if you don’t believe me: http://www.wikihow.com/Release-Endorphins
- Go back to school, take a class that you’re interested in or sign up for that yoga or belly dancing class that you’ve thought about taking. Stay vibrant, relevant and busy!
- When you’re alone, get connected with whatever higher power you serve. For me, it’s Jesus Christ and we’ve had some serious talks in my alone time. Usually I’m talking and He’s listening, but I do shut up long enough to hear from Him. But make that connection or reinforce it.
- When you’re alone and you begin to relish in your own company, you will discover two things: Just how cool and wonderfully special you are and that you deserve the best that life has to offer.
- When you discover that you deserve the best in life, you will be far less likely to settle for just anything…or anyone. When we begin to realize that our self worth is REALLY about our best self, then we become less likely to surround ourselves with negative, critical or toxic people, who only complicate, compromise and confuse our lives.
- When we embrace our solitude and begin to either reinforce or rebuild our lives while we wait, we discover our strengths and our weaknesses – and we realize that we are beautifully flawed and imperfect – and we learn that it’s ok to be that way. We begin to accept and love who we are.
- When we arrive at that place of self acceptance and love for ourselves, we will know how to accept and love others who are also beautifully flawed – and we will allow them to love us back, because we know that we deserve it.
Now truthfully, everyone will NOT get this. Some may get some of it and many will get none of it. There are still people who are simply not comfortable in the quiet of their own presence. No judgment from me – we all are just trying to navigate through this life we’re given as best as we can. But here’s the thing: for those who arrive at this place, you will find peace and growth. Also, in the interim that you’re alone and doing you, you are preparing yourself to be the best you that there is. When you put out that positive and radiant energy into the universe, it will reward you with the best in return. Now this won’t happen overnight, so while you’re spending time alone, work on your patience, too. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. But I guarantee you, if you make the most of your time while you’re alone, it’s a lifetime investment in yourself and your future mate will be getting quite a catch. You will be a woman who is centered, grounded, self assured and inwardly peaceful. Not to mention self confident and secure in your own skin. That’s an incredibly and irresistibly sexy combination. What a gem your man is going to be getting when he finds you!
Photos: Courtesy of Stock Photos