Who lied to you? Who told you that you had to be perfect? Who was the culprit that told you that you had to know it all, do it all, have it all and be it all?  When did we begin to believe that in order to be accepted, we had to look a certain way, earn a certain amount of money or obtain a certain social or economic status? If we came up “short”, is it because we’re too dark, too light, too poor, too quiet, too loud or not ambitious enough? Were we not on our “grind” hard enough? Stop this madness right now! In the words of Malcolm X: We’ve been lied to, bamboozled and hoodwinked!  In our quest to fit in, know it all and be it all, what do we sacrifice? I believe that peace is the sacrificial lamb in the pursuit of perfection – and that is truly our loss.

Of course we all want to be financially comfortable and able to pay our bills and take care of our families and have some “play” money left over to do extra things – this is reasonable and expected. Some may even desire real wealth and fame – and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, if that endeavor of wealth and fame come with the price tag of unrelenting stress, anxiety and depression, that’s a high price to pay. We all desire to love and be loved in return. For many, the idea of being alone even for a while is scary and unacceptable. Do you believe that you are not validated unless you have a mate/partner/spouse in your life? Is your life is less than perfect if there’s no one there at this time? That’s another lie. We are significant even without a significant other.

Did you fail that exam or made a big mistake at work or home? Take the exam again, apologize for the mistakes and do your best to rectify them. Maybe you haven’t lost those extra pounds you had on your “To Do” list yet, or maybe you haven’t stopped or cut down on drinking or you haven’t signed up for that class you said you’d take. That’s ok – the sun is still going to rise and set and the music will continue to play. Tomorrow is another day and you get another chance to do it or start it all over again!  By all means, pursue the things that you love, the things that are special and important to you – whatever they may be. What is life without something to look forward to – something to strive for and aspire to accomplish? But be mindful that sometimes those things come with a heavy price tag and all that glitters is not always gold. Just like your friends, choose your pursuits wisely.

In our pursuit of perfection, success and acceptance, have we kept our peace with us? Can those pursuits along with peace and self-acceptance co-exist or are they parallel oxymorons – never to intersect? You decide.  You don’t have to have all the answers, be the most talented, the most beautiful or handsome, the tallest, or the most well- spoken. You don’t have to be the “most” anything and you’re still more than okay. It is just fine to just “be” without being anything or doing anything all the time. Your mere existence is important and significant all by itself. There is no peace in the pursuit of perfection and acceptance. We need only be perfect to ourselves and accept our shortcomings, flaws and imperfections with all the love and gentleness that we would offer to perfectly flawed others.

• Remember that you are human – NOT SUPER HUMAN.
• If you don’t get it right the first time, do it again.
• Pray, meditate, seek guidance and direction from your higher power.
• Remember that others usually see us in a better light than we see ourselves – we tend to be harder on ourselves and our harshest critics.
• Don’t ever give up on your dreams! Fine tune and adjust accordingly if necessary!
• Realize that sometimes taking a step backwards is necessary to move forward.
• If you don’t like something about your life or yourself, change it!
• Give yourself a break and remember to be good and kind to you right now…not ONLY after you’ve accomplished something special.
• Realize that people, situations and things are not one-size fits all, BUT this person, situation or thing may be PERFECT FOR YOU.
• On a daily basis, remind yourself how truly wonderful, beautiful, handsome, significant, sexy, smart, intelligent, funny, loving and kind you are!