Watering Your Own Garden

gardenI think I’m finally getting the hang of this “getting older” thing. Yeah, I’m starting to really see some perks of being a woman over 50. Besides the fact that I’m happier and feel sexier than ever (at least in my eyes I am and those are the only eyes that really matter!), I’m also learning how to do something that’s VERY important, but lost on so many. I’m learning daily how to MIND MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS!

I’ve realized that when I tend to my own beautiful flowering garden (a metaphor, of course, because I really don’t have a garden – but I do have some house plants) – but as I was saying – when I tend to my own “garden,” I’m not even the least bit interested in what’s going on in yours. Now, don’t mistake my carefree attitude as being selfish – it’s not. Of course I “care” like…well…sometimes I care, but not really. And when/if I do care, it’s the kind of “follow man, humanity” kinda caring, not the all up in your garden being nosey/envious type of caring. Yeah, at this point in my life, there are VERY few gardens other than my own that I care about watering and nurturing. Ok, now that I’ve explained that…moving along.

Anyway, as I’m getting older, life is becoming a lot more simple and uncomplicated. That is because I’VE become less complicated and relaxed. I just don’t need as much of anything anymore: material things, attention, the need to be right, the last word, or the approval of others- (lots more, but you can read my previous post entitled 50 and Fabulous to read more– type it in the search bar here on my blog.)

Another VERY important thing that I’m learning to let go – MY EGO! That bitch has gotta go! She’s has stressed and worried unnecessarily, she has second guessed me too many times in the past, she has been overly defensive and argumentative when I should not have taken things personally at all. My ego has misinterpreted positive, instructional criticism as being picked apart. Instead of listening and learning, my ego has shut it down immediately. She (my ego) has said, “Look at me and what I can do” or “See, I can do this better than you can” *Big Sigh* Honestly, she’s very exhausting and I really can’t think of a time when that bitch has served me well at.all. When my ego is involved, it NEVER turns out good. So, daily, slowly…but surely, I’m killing her off! She gotta go!

Minus my ego and the need to please or impress anyone or the need to be affirmed and validated by others, I’m left with a woman whom I simply adore: Me.  Here now is a woman who has an absolutely beautiful garden – changing, blossoming – some things die off, others bloom again. A woman who is not afraid to be wrong and discover right – nor is she compelled to say yes when she means no. A woman who has found her place in this world and is fine tuning her boundaries and honing her life navigational skills. That takes a lot of positive energy with no time to worry about someone else’s garden.

One other big lesson that I’m discovering: Go after whatever it is that you want, even if you don’t have all of your ducks in a row. You can start where you are right now. For example, and this is a true story, one day I was coming out of a store headed to my car. There was a man standing outside who was on a set of crutches and had a cast on his leg. Although he was a bit shabby looking and unkempt, he wasn’t a bad looking guy and you could see that he’d seen better days. He stood outside the door way and asked everyone who came and left for change. I was no exception. He asked if I had any change to spare and I did. I hadn’t had a chance to put away the .50 cents or so that I’d had in my hand after getting my change in store and I gave it to him, he thanked me and I started to walk off. But then the funniest thing happened. As I walked away, he called out to me and said, “Hey, can I get your phone number? I’d like to take you out sometimes.”  I’m cracking up just thinking about this again. Ummm….NO. Just absolutely, hell NO. Did I not just give this guy .50 cents? And now he’s asking me out on a date? What the what!??

Okay, there’s a message here, though. This dude was obviously broke and literally busted up, but he had the audacity and confidence to ask me out anyway! He took a chance despite the odds. Now, of course it didn’t go his way. I just stared at him in disbelief for a few moments and then started laughing at the ridiculous-ness of the situation. I just laughed, shook my head no and proceeded on my way.  Regardless of my response, he stepped out on faith – no ducks in a row – panhandling and on crutches and not concerned with what I or anyone else thought.

For Peace: Water your own garden and grass and let others tend to theirs. For Joy: Kill or tame that ego. For manifesting your dreams: Move forward in confidence, despite what it looks like.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Annette Spaulding says:

    Amazing blog and I love it. Continue on your journey because it really is helping others how to deal with life. Especially me. Love you.

    1. Thank you Annette…I really appreciate you taking time to read my work. And I’m joyful and thankful that my words are speaking to you. Love you much, my sista💜

  2. Janelle says:

    Mom,
    Once again…another great post and most of all, a valuable lesson. You had me cracking up at the part about the man who ask you for your phone number. But hey, I can’t blame the guy, he saw a beautiful woman coming out of the store and he went for it! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Awww, thank you my love! So glad you liked my post. And I still laugh about the guy at the store , too! Smh and LOL💟

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